Baculum
Christina Bauer
(Angelbound Lincoln #4)
Published by: Monster House Books
Publication date: January 26th 2021
Genres: Fantasy, Young Adult
Watch Lincoln battle Norse monsters in the Viking Games!
As King of the Thrax, Lincoln leads the most powerful demon fighting force in the after-realms… yet he cherishes nothing more than his Angelbound love, Myla. Which is why the king loses his freaking mind when the sinister Ringmaster Kell targets his pregnant wife.
So. Not. Happening.
Ringmaster Kell runs the infamous Viking Games, a series of battles where participants take on the identity of a Norse monster and fight to the death. Sounds good to Lincoln. The king sets aside his crown and enters the arena with one goal only: destroy Ringmaster Kell.
Sometimes, a warrior just needs to ignite his baculum sword and kick a ton of evil ass. But is Lincoln protecting Myla or walking into a trap?
Perfect for readers who love Vikings, Norse mythology, hot princes and cool heroines. ANGELBOUND LINCOLN
Stories from the perspective of Mister The Prince
1. Duty Bound
2. Lincoln
3. Trickster
4. Baculum
5. Angelfire
6. Rixa
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EXCERPT – Myla Insults Zombies
MYLA
Ever since we reached Underland, I’ve been a hot mess in the emotional regulation department.
It’s all the fault of this stupid purple sand… and my pregnancy.
And now I have some of the vile stuff in my mouth. I’m not Captain Calm by any means. It just doesn’t go along with my whole wrath demon situation.
But right now? I’ve officially lost my mind.
I march right up to the first Draugar zombie. “You.” I poke him in his chest and maybe my finger goes between his ribs a bit. I don’t even care. “Chuck sand at me again, and you’ll lose the rest of your tongue. You hear me, Eddie Eloquence?”
“Unnnnhhh,” says the first Draugar. He then moves to stand behind me.
“Kill you,” says a lady Draugar. “Kill!” To emphasize her point, she holds up a butcher knife.
Some small part of me knows that I’m being irrational here. These are unknown monsters from another reality who are threatening me with death. But it turns out that pregnancy hormones are a bitch. I am not putting up with any of this crap.
I round on the Draugar chick next. “Look, undead Betty Crocker. Back. The Fuck. Off.”
She gets behind me in line, too.
“Lead them into the outpost,” says Lincoln. “I’ve got some dungeon charms.”
I scan the long line of Draugar. They don’t look too scary, but there are certainly a lot of them. So that could be a time suck in terms of how long it could take to kill them. Also, they really aren’t attacking, so there’s that. Also-also, they smell like old bad breath and dumpster juice. It’s making me nauseous again.
Into the outpost they go!
At first, I spend the time to come up with decent insults. After a while, I just get lazy and call out names as I go past.
“Get in line Single Boob Babe. You’re next, Mister No-Pants No-Balls. And keep moving, Sir Hopsalot. Just because you have one leg doesn’t mean you can’t hustle.”
All the while, Lincoln fishes through his pack and tries different charms. It’s pretty clear that none of them are working. I blame the purple sand because Hell knows that stuff is screwing with my equilibrium.
After about fifty zombies, I start running out of creative names and just call them all asshole. It seems that as long as I’m insulting them, they’ll follow me anywhere.
Must be a Viking thing.
Author Bio:
Christina Bauer thinks that fantasy books are like bacon: they just make life better. All of which is why she writes romance novels that feature demons, dragons, wizards, witches, elves, elementals, and a bunch of random stuff that she brainstorms while riding the Boston T. Oh, and she includes lots of humor and kick-ass chicks, too. Christina lives in Newton, MA with her husband, son, and semi-insane golden retriever, Ruby. She loves to connect with her fans at BauersBooks.com.Stalk Christina On Social Media – She Loves It!
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